Love. Fear. Chocolate/The Self-Care Starter Pack

The Self-Care Starter Pack

Which Chocolate Do You Want in Your Mouth All Day?

You've been calling yourself names for years.

"I'm an idiot." "What's wrong with me?" "I'm so lazy."

And it tastes bitter. Waxy. Just Yucky. Like cheap chocolate that leaves a bad taste in your mouth all day.

You wake up with it. You go to bed with it. It's there when you make a mistake, when you forget something, when someone's disappointed in you.

And you think: "This is just who I am."

It's not!

It's a habit you learned. Probably from someone else. And habits can change.

This is the Self-Care Starter Pack. Three lessons that teach you how to turn the yucky chocolate into the good stuff.

Reality. Compassion. Forward movement.

The Problem

You Help Everyone Else. But When You Mess Up?

You're kind to your friends. Patient with your kids. Compassionate at work.

But when YOU make a mistake?

You eat the yucky chocolate. All day. Every day.

You've tried affirmations. They feel fake.

You've tried journaling. It feels performative.

You've tried meditation. It makes you more anxious because now you're alone with that harsh voice and it's loud.

And you're exhausted.

Here's why nothing else has worked: Generic self-care advice doesn't address the real problem.

"Just be positive!" doesn't work when your brain's been trained to attack you for 20 years.

"Just love yourself!" doesn't tell you HOW.

You need tools. Actual tools. Not affirmations. Not "just be kinder."

Tools to catch the harsh voice in real time.

Tools to figure out whose voice it actually is.

Tools to build a practice that works for your brain, your life.

That's what this teaches you.

Amanda, R

"I've been reading self-help books for years, but this was different. Kenny doesn't give you affirmations to repeat—he gives you actual tools to use when you're calling yourself an idiot at 2am. The 60-Second Reset has become automatic for me now. I catch myself so much faster."

Marcus, F

"I realized the harsh voice in my head was my dad's voice. Word-for-word what he used to say when I messed up as a kid. That realization alone was worth the $49. Now when I hear 'you're so lazy,' I can say 'that's Dad's voice, not mine.' It doesn't have the same power anymore."

Jennifer, L

"I hate toxic positivity and affirmations, but this isn't that. Kenny is direct and honest—'you made a mistake' instead of 'I'm an idiot' still acknowledges reality, it's just not cruel. The Friend Test changed everything for me. Would I say this to my best friend? No? Then why am I saying it to myself?"

WHO THIS IS FOR:

You're the person everyone comes to for help.

Competent. Capable. "Have it together."

But inside? You're tearing yourself apart.

This is for you if:

✓ You call yourself names constantly ("I'm such an idiot")
✓ You'd never talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself
✓ You help everyone else but attack yourself
✓ You've tried affirmations and they felt fake
✓ You're going through a life transition (divorce, empty nest, career change)
✓ You're tired of performing self-love on Instagram while being brutal privately
✓ You're ready to actually practice, not just consume more inspiration


This is NOT for you if:

✗ You're looking for a quick fix (this requires practice)
✗ You want to just watch videos without doing the work
✗ You're not willing to invest even $49 in yourself
✗ You want free content (my YouTube is free - this is the paid practice)

The Self-Care Starter Pack

Build a practice that works for YOUR life

What You'll Learn

The Three Lessons

Lesson 1

Catch Yourself Calling Yourself Names

The Awareness Practice

Learn how to notice harsh self-talk in real time—not three hours later when you're spiraling.

You'll learn:

  • The chocolate awareness exercise (why paying attention matters)

  • How to track your patterns without judgment

  • The difference between accountability and attack (one is useful, one is just cruel)

  • How to catch the FEAR voice before it takes over

Tools included:


Name-Calling Audit Sheet

Lesson 2

Whose Voice Is That, Anyway?

The Investigation Practice

That harsh voice calling you a failure? It's probably your mom's voice. Or your dad's. Or your third-grade teacher's. Once you know whose voice it is, you can decide whether to believe it.

You'll learn:

  • How to investigate whose voice you're actually hearing

  • The 3 Curiosity Questions (Is this reality or fear? Whose fear? Do I believe it?)

  • The 60-Second Reset to interrupt spirals

  • Why "this is just who I am" is the lie that keeps you stuck

Tools included:


Voice Investigation Worksheet + 60-Second Reset Reference

Lesson 3

Build Your Practice

The LOVE. FEAR. CHOCOLATE. Framework

Generic self-care says "meditate every morning." This framework says: "What actually works for YOU?"

You'll learn:

  • The LOVE. FEAR. CHOCOLATE. framework (what lights you up, what shuts you down, where you find joy)

  • How to identify your three pillars

  • How to build your First Week Practice Plan (5-7 minutes a day)

  • Why there's no "right" chocolate—just what works for you

Tools included:


LOVE. FEAR. CHOCOLATE. Map + First Week Practice Plan

Hi. I'm Kenny.

I'm 60. I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist.

And I still call myself names sometimes.

The difference is: now I have tools.

I've been practicing self-care for over 20 years—not because I'm enlightened, but because I'm human and I got tired of punishing myself for being human.

I created the LOVE. FEAR. CHOCOLATE. framework because I needed something that actually worked. Not some Instagram influencer's morning routine.

I don't do fake affirmations. I don't do toxic positivity. I don't tell people they're perfect as they are when they're calling themselves worthless.

(None of us are perfect, we're just human)

I teach real tools that work with compassion, kindness, directness, humor, and chocolate!

And I'm going to teach you those tools in this Starter Pack.

MA, Marital & Family Therapy, California
20+ years practicing Self-Care

Daily user of the LOVE. FEAR. CHOCOLATE. framework

Frequently asked questions

You've got questions. We've got answers.

How long does this take?

The three video lessons total about 36 minutes. The worksheets take 10-15 minutes each. The daily practice is 5-7 minutes. If you have time to scroll Instagram, you have time for this.

What's with the chocolate?

I use chocolate as a teaching tool. It makes you slow down. It interrupts autopilot. It helps you practice paying attention. If you can notice chocolate—really taste it—you can notice when you're being harsh to yourself.

What if affirmations didn't work for me?

Good. That means you're paying attention. This doesn't teach affirmations. It teaches you how to catch harsh self-talk and translate it into something honest AND kind. Big difference.

Is this therapy?

No. This is education. I'm a therapist, but this Starter Pack isn't therapy. If you need clinical support, go see a therapist. This can supplement therapy but not replace it.

What if I'm skeptical?

Perfect. Skepticism is welcome. This works if you practice it. Not overnight. Not magically. But if you're willing to try—even skeptically—that's enough.

What happens after I finish?

You keep practicing what you learned. And if you want to go deeper, there's the full course. But you don't need it right away. Master the Starter Pack first. One step at a time.

The Self-Care Starter Pack

Time to tell your inner critic to shut the fuck up

(With Kindness & Compassion)